


Awkward

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Kinda, M/M, Morning After, Suicide Attempt, sad I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 13:04:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9325364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The morning after is always awkward for Tyler.





	

The morning after is always awkward for Tyler because the confusion is unbearable.

The immediate sense of waking up and not knowing where you are can be terrifying, especially for someone like Tyler. The groggy, unfocused feeling is overwhelming and Tyler can simply never learn how to deal with it. Tyler thinks that waking up somewhere that is _not_ your own bed, _not_ where you planned on being is a terrible feeling, and he wishes it would stop.

The immediate brightness is always unwelcome. There is never a way to prepare for it, and no way to understand, especially when you can’t remember anything from the night before. Yes, perhaps the worst part is that Tyler can never remember how he got there, or what he was supposed to do now that he was. Upon waking up, so many questions go unanswered, and there’s no escape from the entire _awkwardness_ of the feeling of being so displaced, of the situation in general.

 

The morning after is always awkward for Tyler because of the shame that comes with it.

The feeling of shame for doing something you swore you’d never do again is a feeling Tyler wouldn’t wish on his worst enemies. After the initial confusion wears off, the realization kicks in and hits you like a ton of bricks. Both physically and mentally unable to escape, you are left with nothing to do but think about what you’ve done. Tyler hates it. He hates the feeling he gets, because he can’t quite place exactly what it is. It usually feels a bit like regret, but he finds that he’s not entirely regretful for what he’s done. It’s more so disappointment, that it didn’t work out in his favor.

Sometimes, Tyler can be positive and think about how maybe next time, it’ll be different. Maybe next time he won’t make a fool of himself and be forced to sit there in his shame for God knows how long. The shame that comes with the morning after is painful to the point that Tyler doubts himself, doubts his abilities, which always ends up being dangerous and _just so awkward_.

 

The morning after is always awkward for Tyler because he’s never stopped to think about how awkward it is for the other person.

There’s always someone else there when Tyler wakes up the morning after. This time, it’s Josh, and he can’t help but feel bad for him.

Tyler realizes that Josh must feel all the same things that he feels, but perhaps for different reasons. But he’s never stopped to think about it before, think about how weird and painful it must be for the person who’s looking at the situation from the other side. He’s never stopped to wonder if the other person is just as confused as he is, or if they’re as shameful as he is.

Tyler’s been here before, has had many morning afters, but this time, for the first time, he realizes that most of the people that are there with him when he wakes up have never been in that position before. Especially _Josh,_ oh, Josh. Tyler’s been waking up to Josh for quite some time now, but this time is so different. The thought only makes him feel worse. It’s awkward to have to make eye contact with the other person there when he wakes up, but it’s even more awkward for it to be Josh.

  
Yes, the morning after is always awkward for Tyler. But waking up after a suicide attempt would be awkward for anyone, right?


End file.
